Hello once again.
Buying the parts and constructing the new PC, moving back to Toronto, and sickness have all attempted to distract me from working on the project, but now I return!
I have been working on the story/plot line for Hans and Greta, which I'll write up in a bit, but first lets see how Hans is coming along. It's pretty rough (and missing his legs, boots, and guitar >_< ) but I'm fairly happy with it. I'm beginning to feel better about working on the project, so that's got to be a good sign :P
Now, for story outline:
Hans and Greta, two teens kicked out of their house by their overly conservative parents, roam the city as musicians for hire, playing one-night bar gigs in exchange for a warm bed and a hot meal. But their style of music is considered too hardcore for the average drinking hole, and they find themselves running out of places willing to hire them again. Unhappy, but unwilling to change, the siblings strike out from the city, towards the wilds that encroach on civilization, in hopes of finding a more receptive audience.
On the evening of the third day, their rations running low and a nasty storm blowing down from the mountains, the two come upon a strange valley. Ancient and massive stone sculptures are strewn about the valley, like the scattered and forgotten toys of a giant's child. In the centre of the valley, the rocks cluster around a sizable building, an imposing construct of ageing metal and worn concrete, and decorated extensively with neon lights of every colour. Dozens of blazing pyres light a wide road leading to the main entrance of the building, with two parking lots full of motorcycles and hot rods spread on both sides of the road. From within comes the thrumming beat of drums, and the harmonising screeches of guitars, echoing off the valley walls. As they make their way towards the building, they make out the sign under a 10 foot neon pentagram:
Welcome to the House of Rock
Hans and Greta make it inside and immediately feel like they've entered paradise.
[since this is quickly getting bogged down in detail, I'll switch to point form to wrap things up.]
-Heavy metal band on stage, attractive female singer front and centre, outperforming the rest of her group. (hint: the witch)
-song wraps up, Singer comes down to the bar, meets Hans and Greta
-offers to let them show their stuff while she takes a break
-get on stage
-the crowd loves it
-Singer turns out to own the bar, asks if they want to stay on a while
-sign contract
-agree, go to sleep happy
-wake up in cages made of instruments and stage equipment
-told to practise, get better at their music
-given new songs, sheet music, new instruments, "All for your future"
-Singer secretly intends to steal their youth and musical talents by ritually consuming them once they've improved
-Hans thinks Singer's weird, but gets practising
-Greta freaked out, starts trying to escape
-Singer gets blinded by a flying microphone (from Greta)
-Singer checks up on them daily to hear progress
-Hans and Greta play recordings of off-tune scales instead of showing how good they've gotten
-weeks pass, Singer begins to get annoyed at lack of progress
-Singer can't take it, decides to do the ritual anyways
-Starts with Greta, taking her out of the cage, leading to the altar/fire pit
-Greta realises this is it, starts fighting the Singer
-Hans wakes up, starts trying to escape
-The Singer breaks Greta's left wrist while trying to tie her to the altar, Greta begins screaming in agony, her struggles growing weaker
-Hans manages to break out of the cage by reaching his old guitar, plugging it into an amp, and striking a massive power-chord to blast the door off
-The Singer turns just as Hans charges towards her, knocking her head off with a swing of his guitar
-The Singer's body falls back into the fire-pit, big gout of flame shoots up afterwards
-Hans helps his sister off the altar, fix her arm with some drumsticks + leather straps
-Take over the House of Rock, make it a safe haven for rock+rollers
-The End
And there we have it! Geez, even in point form, it's still a wall of text.. Still a lot of changes to be made, not entirely sold on the idea of escaping the cage by using a power chord, but I am trying to go for an over-the-top "music = power" theme. If it starts feeling too cheesey, I'll just have Hans smash down the door with his guitar instead.
For now, it's back to the drawing board for me. I'll try to have something new up tomorrow as well, more of Hans or one of the girls, see if we can't create a steady flow of updates eventually.
As always, feedback in any shape or form is greatly appreciated, though the more constructive it is, the more I appreciate it ;)
Is he Native American? The nose is kinda the stereotypical flat shape.
ReplyDeleteI know it's a rough sketch but don't shorthand the essential structures: lips, eye shapes with upper and lower lids to define the eyes, finding the proper contour of the face to fix the nose to the center, cheeks, brows.
It seems as though you're concentrating more on the costume than the "character" in this drawing, which is o.k. but in future drawings, work out those things listed above for sure.
The backstory is fine. Not really happy with the power chord being the thing that opens the door, it negates the struggle to reach the key. He could use the guitar instead of the twig to extend his reach for the key... might be slightly awkward to hold on to though.
The head chop is gruesome but would work... you'd lose your PG rating with that.
Keep the drawings coming. Try to zone in on the specific style and start using it in your drawings.
he wasn't designed specifically to be Native American.. so I guess I'll continue experimenting with the face structure to find something else.
ReplyDeleteCan you elaborate on expressing the "character"? do you mean start giving him facial expressions from the get-go?
The idea was to have Han's old guitar be slightly out of reach outside the cage, replacing the key by itself, and the 'plug in and use a power chord' replacing the action of fitting the key in the lock.
As for the rating, I stated at the beginning of the blog that I wanted to push the script to be as dark as I could make it, since my work is usually too clean and orderly. Do we need to stay in the PG rating?
thanks for the feedback, I'll keep working on it. ;)
I honestly like the whole back story. Your fashion design for Hans, reminds me a bit of Lobo from DC comics.Well if you are trying to go for that brawny look, I thought of Gaston's physique from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" or the bully of Ichobod Crane, from Sleepy Hollow. This is only based on the physique of the character. If you wanted a rounder face, what if you look at Bulk, the bully from Power Rangers, except with long hair. I hope that helps.
ReplyDeleteNot bad! I feel like it should be clearer that Hans' imprisonment is pleasurable but ultimately self-destructive: drugs, alcohol, money (women?) are possible rock-themed analogs for the overeating in the original. Alternatively, the new instruments could be magical and sinister in some way that Hans either doesn't see or willfully ignores.
ReplyDeleteJust some thoughts, keep up the good work!